September 30th, 2010

Space Cadet

Nothing Made Any Sense

I had a bad dream last night where I was taking a Science test in either high school or college and none of the questions made any sense. I looked and looked, but the words were just gobbledygook. I felt like I hadn't studied, but I knew I had. It  was just that there were no words -- just jumbles of letters. For a while G was sitting next to me and he kept whispering and distracting me, then he left to go to his next class. People were finishing the test and leaving while I couldn't even figure out where the first problem was on the paper or if I even had the right piece of paper. Papers had come out of my backpack and covered my desk and they all were covered with nonsense words so they all might have been the test. My desk got messier and messier as I searched for the test. My instructor was represented by one of my actual instructors from UT, a guy who I liked, but who never liked me. I just wanted to hand him the blank test and try to explain what happened, but I couldn't be sure which paper was the test and I didn't want to go up empty-handed or give him the wrong thing. I felt really, really stupid. The dream ended as I realized that my class had ended a half an hour ago and that all the people sitting around me were from the next class, and it was going to start any minute. I looked over at my instructor and he looked at me. His look was a combination of resignation, anger, impatience and a look that said' "she's never going to succeed at anything." I didn't know what to do and I just wanted to disappear.