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My Stupid Brain, Computers and a Moment In Time - Dragon's Dreams — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Wizard of Changes -- ©cdozo 2004 to 2015

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My Stupid Brain, Computers and a Moment In Time [May. 4th, 2010|05:07 pm]
Wizard of Changes -- ©cdozo 2004 to 2015
[The river is |sadsad]
[The frogs are singing |the Anne Murray version of Daydream Believer playing in my head]

Two of the reasons I have such trouble with school is that I 'm not at all good at screening out extraneous input and because I make mistakes when I'm writing. If there's extraneous input while I'm writing I become nigh onto completely incapable of writing anything down coherently. Luckily for me, computers came along and made it possible for me to fix my mistakes. But the Census requires that my time sheets be done by hand, in ink and with absolutely no mistakes. Thus for every time sheet I fill in there are four or five or even six time sheets wasted. I thought that at least I could do my stupid paper-wasting in private. But today, while sitting at a restaurant where there was really interesting music playing, I had to fill out four time sheets that had been returned. So I sat in front of my supervisor and destroyed time sheet after time sheet after time sheet. I felt so stupid. My supervisor was really nice, even though he ended up having to go home and get more time sheets for the next person because I'd destroyed the huge stack of blanks he'd brought thinking he had enough for everyone.

The only bright side of this is that it reminded me of how miserable I used to be before computers made it possible for me to communicate via the written word. I'd forgotten how awful I used to feel about having to write anything. Now I really love writing. If it wasn't for computers, my life would have had a big sad hole in it where the writer me should have been. Sitting being frustrated with my time sheets today, I remembered, in a vivid visual/tactile way, the moment that my boss first showed me how to use Wordstar. The company was going broke, and they'd fired the secretary. There was still stuff that needed to be typed, so, since I was the lowest-paid employee, I was chosen to take over her duties. He sat reluctant me down and showed me how to use Wordstar. It took about 2 seconds into the lesson for me to realize that this was the key to the universe and know that my life was going to be better forever. I'd forgotten that moment and how much better my life has been ever since that day. So some good came out of what happened today. But it still totally sucked.

[User Picture]From: dinahprincedaly
2010-05-04 11:42 pm (UTC)
you are a tough cookie and this is a really great entry
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[User Picture]From: ndozo
2010-05-05 05:50 am (UTC)
I used up four D-308s today before I got one right and I was by myself in a quiet room. Plus we are allowed to scribble out. What I finally ended up doing that worked is write down everything on another sheet of paper. The hours are the hardest part for me so I do those first. If it's right then I do the rest. You can fill in a lot of it ahead of time so there will be less to think about when you have to do the rest. Name, appointment#, etc. Plus don't forget that even though you are a total idiot about form-filling-out, A. It's genetic, and B. you will get better at it. You can learn. Plus you have a bachelors degree in electrical engineering from a great college, so even when you feel dumb, you really know you're not. But you (and I) do have learning disabilities that make this clerical stuff really really hard.
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[User Picture]From: amysn
2010-05-05 10:49 pm (UTC)
I concur with Dinah - you are a great writer and this is a great entry. You are funny too - made me LOL twice with your self-deprecation. (Sorry, but if you can laugh at you, so can I!) I also concur about computers - they have changed my life, for the better (as far as I can tell anyway).
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