|My Stupid Brain, Computers and a Moment In Time
||[May. 4th, 2010|05:07 pm]
Wizard of Changes -- ©cdozo 2004 to 2015
|[||The river is
|[||The frogs are singing
|||||the Anne Murray version of Daydream Believer playing in my head||]|
Two of the reasons I have such trouble with school is that I 'm not at all good at screening out extraneous input and because I make mistakes when I'm writing. If there's extraneous input while I'm writing I become nigh onto completely incapable of writing anything down coherently. Luckily for me, computers came along and made it possible for me to fix my mistakes. But the Census requires that my time sheets be done by hand, in ink and with absolutely no mistakes. Thus for every time sheet I fill in there are four or five or even six time sheets wasted. I thought that at least I could do my stupid paper-wasting in private. But today, while sitting at a restaurant where there was really interesting music playing, I had to fill out four time sheets that had been returned. So I sat in front of my supervisor and destroyed time sheet after time sheet after time sheet. I felt so stupid. My supervisor was really nice, even though he ended up having to go home and get more time sheets for the next person because I'd destroyed the huge stack of blanks he'd brought thinking he had enough for everyone.
The only bright side of this is that it reminded me of how miserable I used to be before computers made it possible for me to communicate via the written word. I'd forgotten how awful I used to feel about having to write anything. Now I really love writing. If it wasn't for computers, my life would have had a big sad hole in it where the writer me should have been. Sitting being frustrated with my time sheets today, I remembered, in a vivid visual/tactile way, the moment that my boss first showed me how to use Wordstar. The company was going broke, and they'd fired the secretary. There was still stuff that needed to be typed, so, since I was the lowest-paid employee, I was chosen to take over her duties. He sat reluctant me down and showed me how to use Wordstar. It took about 2 seconds into the lesson for me to realize that this was the key to the universe and know that my life was going to be better forever. I'd forgotten that moment and how much better my life has been ever since that day. So some good came out of what happened today. But it still totally sucked.